Harrison Kowald produces his first polished film review

Harrison Kowald, 16, comfortable in his surrounds and set to write his next film review.
Harrison Kowald, 16, comfortable in his surrounds and set to write his next film review.

At the tender age of 16, Harrison Kowald doesn't mince his words when it comes to reviewing films.

The expressive Nuriootpa lad, with hopes of becoming a great film critic, recently put his thoughts to words in a well executed review on 'Cats' the movie, released late last year.

Tom Hooper's version of Andrew Lloyd Webber's hit musical was given just half a star by Harrison, which he justifies as "generous".

While the Faith College student understands his summary won't win him any died hard Cats' fans soon, he certainly stands by his decision.

Titled 'Feline Feature Falls Flat' his review's opening line refers to the film as "one of humanity's biggest mistakes".

"The messy screenplay is confusing, the acting is stale and the special effects make the viewer physically sick," he shares.

Not even well respected English actor Judi Dench, who plays Old Deuteronomy, impresses him.

He further faults the computer-generated imagery.

If I don't like a movie then I make sure I express it.

Harrison Kowald, 16, Nuriootpa

"I was more scared watching this than 'The Shining' (1980 psychological horror)," he said.

Ironically, Harrison admits to enjoying the chorus part he played in Cats the musical performed by his college a few years back.

While this is his first polished review, he has been penning his thoughts as a hobby for the past two years, leaving notes of films on his phone.

One would suspect he was encouraged by parents Matt and Nichola and two sisters, who perhaps weren't always keen to hear his lengthy thoughts.

Harrison's other "worst" films includes the 'Emoji' movie released in 2017, with the storyline centred on a multitude of emojis that people use today in social media.

"The screenplay was trash," he stated.

His take on 'The Rise of Skywalker' (2019) was "pure anger".

"If I don't like a movie then I make sure I express it," he said.

Harrison doesn't rate much of what enters cinemas and internet movie accounts today, saying most flicks ride on making dollars rather than making sense.

He is well aware of how movies are now released in time for school holidays for family entertainment, leaving behind the wow-factor.

But he did surprise himself by liking the release of Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017) saying it wasn't so much the acting and effects, but the comedy.

And despite a bad movie, however painful, Harrison says he commits to the cause and watches until the end.

Fortunately the teenager is up with the classics, providing Alfred Hitchcock's works as an example and also The Wizard of Oz.

"These films weren't about making money but done with care," he added.

'Feline Feature Falls' Flat by Harrison Kowald

Cats, directed by, Tom Hooper, is one of humanity's biggest mistakes.

Starring, Judi Dench, Idris Elba, Rebel Wilson, and Ian McKellen; all playing CGI nightmares. The messy screenplay is confusing, the acting is stale, and the special effects make the viewer physically sick.

The Film's plot, like Andrew Lloyd Webber's, hit musical, is about a cultish tribe of cats called the Jellicle's. The Jellicle's hold a yearly event where their leader, Old Deuteronomy (Dench), decided which cat will be sent to the Heaviside Layer and come back to a new life. The Candidates in line to be chosen must impress Old Deuteronomy, by singing a song about themselves. If you're confused about what I just said; I don't blame you.

If you have heard anything about this film before this, you've probably heard about the disgusting CGI. The Actors get the full treatment; getting cat ears, tails, fur covering most of their body, and it is horrifying. I was more scared watching this than I was watching, The Shining. Their human faces rarely matched up to their bodies, the fur kept glitching, and some cats look like they were wearing nothing at all (specifically Idris Elba). However, the most nightmare-inducing visual was their human hands and feet. Why oh, why, did they do this. I felt like I had to wash my eyes out after looking at these monstrosities.

These CGI errors not only made the viewing terrifying, but it also distracted me from the actual movie. At one point I was caught staring at, Rebel Wilson's collar. It kept glitching off her neck, distracting me from what was going on, making me feel more lost than I already was.

I went into the movie hoping very little. Nevertheless, I was expecting at least I would get some, entertaining, well-acted performances. How wrong I was. The acting is stale, cringe-worthy, and miserable. The actors deliver their very few lines, with a lack of personality and emotion. Award-winning actors, Ian McKellen and Judi Dench give their definite worst performances as, Old Deuteronomy and Gus the Theatre Cat. Watching the actors, specifically, McKellen and Dench, copy the physical mannerisms of a cat, paired with the terrible CGI, makes an uncomfortable viewing experience.

The only redeeming factors of Hooper's, Cats, where the catchy music, impressive choreography, and Actors Laurie Davidson (Mr. Mistoffelees) and Robert Fairchild (Munkustrap). The music was the star of the show unsurprisingly. I had the entire soundtrack stuck in my head long after I left the theatre. The performances of Davidson and Fairchild were charismatic, charming, and overall well executed. Finally, the choreography was impressive and made me envious of their skills. However, it was hard to appreciate the choreography when I was distracted by the disgraceful CGI.

Tom Hooper's, Cats, is a nightmare-inducing CGI mess. I can confidently say it is THE worst movie I have ever seen. However, I do recommend you go and see it, merely as we may never see a film like this ever again...hopefully.

CATS (2019)- 1/2 a Star